Taking the frustration out of parenting.
Some parenting suggestions you might want to embrace.
Time activities carefully
If we want our children to accompany us, so that we can shop or visit somebody, we need to be aware of our children’s individual needs for sleep, nourishment, exercise, comfort, stimulation and so on. Eg. Going to the supermarket with several children who are either hungry, tired or very upset, is going to be very challenging. If a child has been sitting for a while, he will need to jump and run around, for a while afterwards. Transition times need to be organised between activities, so that children can settle in to a new activity. We can’t expect children to suddenly change to a new experience, without preparation and some adjustment time.
Routine
Having a routine enables family members to feel greater security, predictability and safety. It is easier for all family members, and will lessen the number of emotional upsets. Of course, flexibility is important too, so we needn’t be too rigid with the routine, but use it as a daily guide. We can work out approximate meal times, snack times and bed times, and later add in things such as TV times, clean up times, getting ready for school times , after school activity sessions, and so on.
Adaptation time needs to be allowed for
When our children are facing changes, we need to prepare them, by discussing what is going to happen, and actively listening to their concerns. We can answer their questions, and remain calm and positive. We can show them what is coming, with books, props and pictures etc. We can also allow them to experience the change, in short stints. Eg starting kinder or school
Answer questions honestly and simply
Honesty and reliability is very important, so that our children can trust us, and can more easily predict what will happen. Eg If we tell our children that we are going to get something out of the shed, and will be back in a few minutes, we need to stick to what we say. They will gradually learn time periods if we are consistent, and won’t fret too much when we leave, for a time. We need to expect honesty from our children, and give them the benefit of the doubt, rather than assuming dishonesty. Of course, evident dishonesty needs to be dealt with, by giving a reprimand and use of consequences (if necessary). We also need to be aware of Child Development stages. Children up until about 5 or 6 will make up stories, as answers for our questions. They are not lying until they have developed a conscience, and understand what truth means. Again, if we tell the truth, particularly when it is not easy to do so, our children are far more likely to do the same. The other people in our lives will also be more inclined to be honest, if we can act courageously in this way.
It is not helpful to over-protect our children. They need to learn to cope with problems and negativity. It is better for children to know what is going on, than to try to hide the information. We need to talk about positive ways to work through problems, and empathise with them, rather than pity them. They can also be encouraged to come up with ideas, for solving problems themselves. This will allow them to become resilient and confident.
Celebrate special occasions
Get-togethers for Birthdays, Christmas etc. are of great value for our children. They learn about giving and receiving gracefully, have lots of fun, build memories and have new experiences. They connect and bond with friends and relatives, and often go out somewhere new. They learn about the needs of others, which develops compassion and empathy.
Memorabilia
Photos and favourite possessions can be stored carefully, and looked at in later years. They will provide much pleasure, and allow family and friends to reminisce the old times, and talk about these memories.
Maintain constructive rituals
Rituals allow children and adults to more easily manage certain times of each day, which can normally be quite difficult. Eg Bedtime, mealtimes, readying for school. We can repeat the successful steps each day, and provide consistency and predictability for all family members. These rituals provide security, and can be passed on to other carers, in the event that parents need, want or have to spend some time away from their offspring.
Consider appropriate home design
Family life can be made easier, if we can carefully consider home design, before building or buying a new home. Computers and TV’s can be supervised, if they are placed where adults spend a great deal of their time. Space, for active and messy play, both inside and out, needs to be provided for. Safety is paramount, and must be well thought-out for every room, as well as the whole yard, front and back. Fencing and shelving can be very useful, in this regard.
Institutional Care – points to consider
When we are in the process of deciding which day-care, pre-school, school etc. to send our child to, there are some important considerations. We need to get to know the carers extremely well, ask lots of relevant questions, and observe them closely interacting with children, and other adults. It’s wise to drop in unannounced, so that we get a feel for the atmosphere, and can get a more accurate and realistic observation. We also need to read any policies and information carefully, and get to know managers, principals and other pertinent staff.
When we are fairly sure of our choice, we need to spend time at the institution with our child. The younger the child, the more time we need to stay, so that he is comfortable and calm. During this time, it is important to listen carefully to the child, and answer her questions.
Before the child commences, it is essential that we prepare him, for what is going to happen. This includes answering any questions from our child, and asking him some of our own.
When we have decided on an institution, it is vital to keep up communication with the carer, teacher, director etc. and to be assertive if we have any concerns. The staff ought to know about any relevant information, such as changes at home, disabilities, home routines and rituals, illness, separation, allergies and intolerances, and so on.
Charts
Charts can be helpful to provide reminders to family members, and to aid in organisation.
Posted by Carole Disseldorp on
tags: nurture, teenagers, timing, routine, adaptation time, honesty, celebrations, memorabilia, children, adults, rituals, institutions, charts
Wholesome role models
Our children need wholesome role models, to learn from, and emulate. Therefore it’s vital that we are fully aware of the influences that are present in their lives, and the likely impact on them. If children spend a lot of time watching TV, playing computer or electronic games during their formative years, they will be adversely affected by them. We need to follow the classifications conscientiously, and let them know how we feel about the anti-social and inappropriate behaviour shown on the media, such as violence and lying. Teaching values needs to be done on an ongoing basis, preferably in the context of what is happening in our lives at the time. We need to make sure that our children are having plenty of time for play, active experiences, social interaction and so on. If we are handing our child over to another adult, we need to ensure that we know this person extremely well, and that she, or he, is likely to set a good example.
Collaborate with each other, other parents and carers
Whilst raising our children, we will often need to collaborate with other parents and carers. Our children need to see us discussing issues calmly, being assertive, listening carefully, co-operating and problem solving for win-win solutions. This will provide a healthy example for our children to follow.
Allow for differing temperaments in the family
It is wise to remember that each child and adult is born with a different temperament. Some are easy-going, some feisty, and others sensitive. We therefore, can’t treat our children the same, as each child is unique, with differing needs. Their personality develops over time, according to the way they are nurtured, and the experiences they have. A sensitive child, for example, may need longer to adapt to a new situation, and a child with lots of energy may need to spend more time in an area that enables him to move around more.
Varying family dynamics
Having different combinations of family members, can be stimulating and beneficial, for everyone in the family. Particular set roles can be challenged and changed for a time. This can allow members to take on different responsibilities, to get to know other members more fully, and to try different activities.
Be aware of everyone’s needs and support each family member
Children need to feel noticed and special when they master a new skill. We, as parents, need to give undivided attention to our children frequently, when they are proud of mastering a skill, or have seen or heard something of special interest to them. In order to emotionally support our children, we need to give lots of affection, express love, listen reflectively, and validate them. Encouraging children to think of solutions, and give their own ideas, will boost their self-esteem and exercise their brains. Support, thanks and patience will be of enormous benefit to them also. Music and creative experiences need to be offered, to calm and empower our children. Our children require many social activities with children and adults of all age groups. We can also organise play dates, sleep overs and camps to aid their social development. Physical activities that we can arrange for our children include, going to a park each week, and setting up space, inside and out, for active play. Encouraging use of large muscles experiences such as climbing, running, jumping, hopping, walking, and joining in some of the time, will foster this. Large thick mats are great for children to bounce around on, too. We can also give them opportunities to develop fine motor control, such as sand, dirt and dough play. Children naturally want to learn, and are very curious. We need to foster this innate behaviour. It is amazing what they are capable of teaching themselves, if we support them emotionally. It’s very important to provide suitable books, games and materials that will foster thinking, problem solving and remembering. We can also ask them lots of questions, and ask their opinions on various subjects. Children’s language development will be stimulated with a lot of conversation, stories, books, songs and rhymes.
Posted by Carole Disseldorp on
tags: thinking, problem solving, attention, example, role models, collaboration, temperaments, family dynamics, emotional support, needs, love, affection, listen, validate, encourage, activities, exercise, fine motor, curiosity, language, memory
It is normal for children to fight some of the time. It would be very strange, and of concern, if they didn’t get angry and attack each other with strong emotion, occasionally. However, fighting can be successfully diminished if parents and carers can follow some effective guidelines that I will outline. Prevention is obviously much better than fixing a problem. All children are different from birth, with dissimilar temperaments and needs. Some children are quite sensitive, whilst others are very casual and easygoing, and most are somewhere in-between. Therefore children can’t be treated in exactly the same way. Children will often fight for attention or power in front of parents or carers. It is up to us to decide on their purpose, and follow through with appropriate strategies eg giving regular positive power and consistent positive attention, and playing down the negative as much as possible.
Example
If you argue with your partner frequently in front of your children or in hearing range, your children are more likely to argue. If you call your partner names and criticise him or her, your children are watching, listening and learning how to behave. If you yell at your partner around your children, they come to believe that this is normal and acceptable behaviour. On the other hand, if they observe you discussing a problem with your partner in a mature manner, where you listen actively to each other, and try to work out solutions, your children will more likely follow this healthy, respectful role modelling.
Promote and Practice Positivity
If we can remain calm and positive most of the time, and focus on positive behaviours, we will find that our children will be less likely to quarrel with each other. Noticing and commenting specifically and genuinely about the efforts, improvements, strengths and co-operation will create a positive atmosphere within the family. It is important to let our children know when they are doing something which is unacceptable, and to ask them to stop. If they co-operate, we need to thank them. If they continue with annoying behaviour which is not hurting other people or animals or property, then it is a good idea to turn our attention away from the child, so that the behaviour is not being re-enforced. If the behaviour is more serious (hurting or vandalising) we need to apply a natural or logical consequence. This needs to be done consistently, so that the child learns which behaviour is intolerable, and can predict the parental response each time. Children require preparation for things that are coming up. The more major the event, the more effort we need to expend to familiarise our children with what is likely to happen and answer their questions sensitively. We can explain honestly and in their language, what is going to occur. When we can sense that our children are becoming fractious, we can suggest, or set up, a change of activity, to prevent things from deteriorating. If we can expect good behaviour from our children, they are more likely to oblige. Quite often we can suggest a related acceptable alternative to an inappropriate action. Eg. “Please throw the ball outside, or find a soft ball to play with inside.”
Communicate effectively
If children are arguing loudly, we need to go right over to them, get down to their level, and calmly tell them to stop the yelling. If they stop, we need to thank them. We can then help them resolve the problem or, if they are older, ask them to sort it out, without shouting or hurting. We need to listen carefully to each child’s viewpoint and help them, if younger, to come up with a win/win solution. Effective communication requires careful listening and speaking, and encouraging our children to verbalise their thoughts and feelings. If we can be non-judgemental and reflect feeling and meaning, our children are more likely to open up to us. We need to have regular interesting and positive conversations with our children and surround them with language.
Teach rules and endeavour to prevent problems from happening
It is vital that we remember to keep calm most of the time, and patiently teach correct behaviour. Learning child development and safety basics are essential so that children feel secure and understood. Young children need to be taught the home rules and will need gentle reminders, and sincere and specific encouragement for following these rules. Children older than 3, can be involved in deciding on some rules, that will help everyone to get on well. Eg no name calling, no hurting, no swearing Sometimes children need to be restricted from participation until they are able to handle the responsibility eg. Withholding pens until they have learnt, and are developmentally ready, to only use them consistently on paper. Older kids can be encouraged to negotiate with younger children eg. Swapping a toy that the younger child has pinched, for a more exciting one (from their perspective). Older children can also be taught about younger children’s development, so that they can be more accepting of their behaviour eg difficulties with sharing and taking turns. Giving older children a place to play, without being disturbed for a period of time during the day, can help greatly, with preventing clashes.
Self care
Each member of the family deserves and needs to have their emotional and social wellbeing properly catered for, by having time for fun, relaxation, pampering and following interests. Older children and adults need private individual time and time with friends. Spouses need time to recuperate, and to develop their relationship without the children. Children thrive with individual time with one parent, and families will become closer to each other if they can organise, and participate, in family activities, in and out of the home. Prioritising allows us to get the most important jobs done first, and can help us to feel more relaxed. Organising a routine can give parents and children more security and predictability. Keeping our homes fairly organised and tidy, where all family members are expected to put things back where they belong, is very beneficial. Developing flexibility is similarly valuable for all family members, to manage changing dynamics and unexpected crises. All family members need to be encouraged to be as independent as possible.
Nurture
Children shouldn’t have to share all their toys, especially if they have just been given a new toy. It’s important that we remember to refrain from comparing our children, when they are in earshot. Eg. “You’re not as good at sums as your sister. You’d better work harder!” Having a goal of wanting each of our children to feel unique, special and lovable is essential, and we need to constantly work toward this. Unconditional love, affection and attention are crucial. “Mum (Dad) watch me!” is a common expression that we need to co-operate with regularly. We can tell children that we love them, and encourage co-operation rather than competition. Giving them lots of limited choices and showing interest in their opinions and verbalisations, will empower our children and build self-esteem.
Discipline respectfully
Helping children to resolve conflict is important when they are young, and needs to lessen as they grow, so that they feel capable and competent. Children younger than about 3 years need to have conflicts resolved by the parent/carer. They usually aren’t ready to share until they are around 2 ½ years. It is preferable with more than one child under 3, to have 2 similar items to play with, or to have activities which allow co-operative play eg sand, water, large boxes, blocks, duplo. If children are getting out of control, where a child is in danger of being hurt, parents need to step in, stop any hurting, and listen to each child’s words and gauge and reflect their feelings. Eg. “You are feeling angry because you were playing with the truck first? What could we do so that you are both happy?” Gradually children are able to wait longer and not feel the strong need to play with the same thing that another child has. They learn to share and take turns, especially if this is fostered early on. It is not wise to play the judge role, when you normally haven’t seen the whole scenario. It is better to tell children to stop the yelling and hurting behaviour, and to listen actively to each child. Any favouritism is unwise, and will lead to feelings of inferiority in a child and possibly resentment if it continues for a long time. Children learn important lessons by resolving conflict and will be better prepared for the outside world if they are practised at it. When children are clashing, it is sometimes necessary to separate them, until they have settled down enough to talk sensibly and calmly about the problems and issues. Employing reasonable and respectful consequences for unacceptable behaviour, will allow our children to learn what they have done wrong, and help them to decide to behave satisfactorily in the long term. We can also ask for input from them, with regard to a suitable consequence. A child may decide that the consequence for not doing a job, that was agreed on previously, leads to a reduction in pocket money, or less time for computer or TV. It’s wise to find out what your children especially like, so that these things can be less readily available to them, when they are behaving unacceptably.
Responsibility for all
Young children generally love to help, and it is definitely advantageous to foster this behaviour. They may not do a job as well as we would, and they may take a lot longer. However, we can usually get them involved in a simple part of the job, and thank them for their efforts. Eg. A young child can help to fold the tea towels or face washers, or he can turn on a vacuum cleaner and help move an object that’s in the way. It’s all about working together. If a child wants to do exactly what you are doing, you can tell her to wait until you have finished a room, and let her have a short turn. Children love to imitate us and it is easier in the long run to allow this, and go a little slower, than having a frustrated and angry child.
Stimulating Activities
If young children don’t have frequent changes of materials and toys and places, they will become bored, restless and start to annoy each other or their parents. This doesn’t mean that we need to buy lots of new toys all the time. We just need to rotate them, and take them outside, or away from home each day, to stimulate all of their senses. Sharing games and activities that foster turn-taking, are valuable experiences for children.
Parenting Style
It pays to be as Democratic as we can be; to respect each other, to share responsibilities and to encourage individuality and independence. Inspiring our children to behave well and fostering self-discipline, is far better than using fear to intimidate our children.
Posted by Carole Disseldorp on
tags: communication, nurture, fighting, sibling rivalry, arguing, quarreling, power, attention, temperament, prevention, example, role modelling, positivity, rules, self-care, discipline, responsibility, stimulating activites, authoritative style
Handling our teenagers successfully involves setting a healthy example, patient teaching, effective communication and nurturing. Having an understanding of the changes and the common characteristics and behaviours, can make it less scary and difficult. Letting go, negotiating, encouraging and empowering our young people, is vital for peace and harmony.
Changes
At around 12 years for girls, and 14 for boys, adolescents experience substantial changes which are hormonal, physical, intellectual, emotional and social in nature. The transformation occurs at different ages, and each young person has a different response and experience. Most are developing more strength, energy and achieving more and more. Anxiety about approaching adulthood is common, as is grief at the ending of childhood. Our young people show a great need to spend increasing time with their friends. Gradually they separate more and more from their family, and their behaviour becomes less predictable and more volatile. If parents /carers and other role models can treat teenagers properly, these young people will most likely grow into respectable, responsible adults. They are becoming aware that mum, dad, teachers, leaders and institutions have problems of their own, and that they also find certain issues difficult to handle. Adolescents are beginning to decide on their own values.
Peers
Peers are very important, and adolescents need to spend more time with them, in order to work out where they fit in to the world. Belonging to a group is vital to their self-esteem. Girls, in particular, need close friends. Most teenagers are starting to become very interested in the opposite sex, and will spend a lot of time thinking about attracting the other gender.
Family
Adolescents don’t tend to show that they need their family as much, but it still needs to provide a nurturing nest.
Teenage characteristics
Boys and girls can start to become quite critical, and like to disagree with family members to a greater extent. But this doesn’t mean that they refuse to take on the other member’s opinions. They become more self-absorbed, and are capable of greater abstract thinking. Working out how they fit into the world, and what is happening in the world, occupies a fair amount of their energy. They can be fairly moody, unpredictable and emotional on the whole, and can act like an adult one minute, and a child the next. Lectures from parents aren’t usually received with much enthusiasm.
Separation
As they enter the teenage years, young people naturally want to be more and more independent and self- reliant. This ensures that they can (as they approach adulthood) leave the nest, without too much trauma. It also prepares parents and siblings to come to terms with separation. Many teenagers will withdraw, others will speak in monosyllables, and others will challenge and/or irritate their family members.
Educate
When we ask our young people to do something, we need to give a reason in a calm manner. Making suggestions based on real outcomes works well for adolescents eg. “Excessive drinking can lead to serious liver disease and brain malfunction.” It’s very helpful to tell our young people how we feel about something; the dangers and the problems we foresee. Generally, they are not as focused on the consequences of actions, as adults are. Eg “Wearing a helmet will protect your brain effectively while you are skateboarding.” It is vital that we talk about relevant issues by answering their questions honestly, and by broaching specific subject areas such as sex, safety, drugs (including alcohol and tobacco). It’s easier and more meaningful if we can teach our values spontaneously. However, unless we have our own values clarified and in the forefront, it is difficult to do this. If our teenagers aren’t particularly receptive to our words of wisdom, it is still smart to persevere, in short bursts. They are very adept at acting as if they don’t need our advice, but this usually is not the case.
Communicate
Careful listening to our adolescents is highly important. This means deliberately refraining from being judgemental, from jumping in to solve problems, from catastrophising and from minimising or mocking what they are saying. Our body language needs to similarly convey full and active listening. When talking to our teenagers, we and they will greatly benefit emotionally if we can remember that encouragement is preferable to criticism, that natural and logical consequences are better than nagging; that persuasion is better than being dictatorial; that a calm voice and demeanour is superior to yelling. Letting our young people know how we feel using the format ‘When...I feel...’is valuable eg “When I haven’t heard from you after _ days at camp, I feel worried.” This gives our teenagers an opportunity to think of their own solution to a problem, and they will be less defensive and angry. Remembering that we have the power to refuse to continue arguing, is very useful too. Teenagers (and adults) can be brilliant at provoking arguments. There is nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree. It is a mature way of settling a conflict, if an agreement can’t be reached. If we can ask lots of sincere questions, our teenagers will be encouraged to problem solve and to think laterally. Setting up regular times to converse is very worthwhile eg. Mealtimes, car travel times. We need to show interest in their hobbies, sports, music activities and so on.
Nurture
Our young people need to know that it is okay to make mistakes. This will have the effect of inspiring them to try new experiences, and we need to support them in their efforts and progress. Fostering thinking and problem solving in our young people will be of great benefit to them, and we would be wise to be forgiving when they make poor decisions. Everybody has different interests and talents, and our offspring need to be given the opportunity to find out what their’s are. They will benefit greatly from learning to accept and be themselves. Our teenagers, just like ourselves, need large doses of fun. This will help them to concentrate more easily on work, and is great for their emotional and social wellbeing. It is vital that we continue to invite our children to participate in family activities regularly eg dining out, board games, bowling, holidays etc. Of course, they will decline much of the time, but that’s okay. We can encourage our young people to think ahead and plan for their future, so that they are motivated and hopeful in their outlook. We all need to set short and long term goals, and move towards them a step at a time. Adolescents still need to feel loved and accepted for the people they are, and we can demonstrate this with plenty of hugs, encouraging words and unconditional love. Achievements can also be acknowledged in positive ways. Home needs to be a safe comforting place for all the family, where all members are accepting, loving, welcoming, supportive and interested in each other’s growth and wellbeing. Young people need to be persuaded to look after themselves, and to find a healthy balance with regard to exercise, nutrition, socializing, work, volunteering and leisure. Screen time needs to be restricted to a couple of hours or so a day, till the mid-teenage years, so that our young people have the opportunity to do other important activities. If the television(s) and computers are owned by the parents, this is easier to do. If they are about to do something dangerous, or considering it, we must explain firmly the reasons for abstaining. We can deprive them of something they value highly, as a consequence, if the action is abusive to people or animals, or damaging to property. However, it is better to inspire co-operation, than to deny a privilege. If we have already established a good rapport with them, they are far more likely to be obliging. If it is illegal, we need to let them know this fact, and what will happen if they are in breach of the law. Sometimes they will listen better to another trusted adult. Privacy is important for adolescents and we need to respect this. Eg, Knocking on their door before entering, and not going through their drawers or cupboards, without their permission. Treating teenagers respectfully, similar to the way we would treat a friend, is wise.
Gradually let go
If parents can gradually let go more and more, and expect greater independence from their offspring, they will find that they will show more responsibility, resilience, confidence and competence.
Negotiate
It can be difficult to accept some of the fashions and behaviours that our teenagers take on board. However, it’s critical that we only make a stand when they are being unsafe, abusive or offensive to others. We need to have regular family meetings and discussions, in order to decide together on fair rules, and to help our young people to seriously consider safety, good health and financial responsibility. It is preferable to come up with win-win outcomes so that everyone is satisfied. The limits that we put in place early on in the teenage years will change, as our offspring develop more maturity and responsibility. Flexibility is the key. Eg home return time at night, staying home alone, travelling on public transport etc. Our teenagers will grow into more caring, kind, considerate and responsible people if we are able to separate their wants from their needs. We can provide the basics such as shelter, food, clothing etc, but we need not feel obliged to provide the latest brands, or the current fashion. It they want these things, it is their job to earn the money to pay for them, unless it is their birthday or Christmas. It is imperative to refuse to be swayed by forceful, emotional and guilt inducing arguments. Eg But all my friends are allowed to go (or do this)!!
Empower
If we can be as democratic as possible, our adolescents will feel more empowered and be more co-operative. Social equality, mutual respect, shared responsibility, co-operation and self-discipline are all essential ingredients for a satisfying and fulfilling family life.
Reference : Better Health Channel ~ www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au
Posted by Carole Disseldorp on
tags: communication, nurture, teenagers, adolescents, youth, peers, family, teenage characteristics, separation, education, letting go, negotiation, parenting, behaviour, empowerment
If your children are coming to you saying that they are bored, there are many great things that can be done to foster thinking, problem solving, creativity, imagination and initiative. We can start off by limiting TV and other screen entertainment and encouraging any signs of initiative. We can take our children out and encourage them to have visitors to the home. Providing many different, safe materials for our children to explore, experience and play with, is really good for our kids. They need to have a wide variety of experiences that stimulate all of their senses.
TV and other screen games
TV and screen games have their place if used in moderation. I would suggest not more than 2 hours a day for children over 3, and much less, if any, under that age. Children need a lot more than activities that primarily stimulate the senses of sight and hearing.
Show enthusiasm and encourage effort If your child comes to you to show you something she or he has created, it is smart to comment specifically on the positive aspects of the article. Eg a hat made from paper or a rocket made from a cardboard tube. It is not necessary to tell your child what else he could add to it, unless he asks specifically for that. It is not wise to take over and make a better one. We need to encourage any effort, improvement and strength so that our children feel empowered and confident.
Setting a healthy example
If our children can see us creating, investigating, inquiring, exploring and problem solving, they will be more likely to follow suit.
Taking children out
There are a huge number of excellent places to visit with our children, such as parks, beaches, forests, gardens, museums, zoos, concerts, libraries etc. Children can smell flowers and plants; taste sour, bitter, salty and sweet, spicy foods; run, jump, climb, dig, skip, paddle, build, talk to the animals, learn about the present and past world, listen to and watch musicians in action, and so much more.
Visiting people and inviting them over
Social experiences in and out of the home with friends, relatives and visitors, are very important for our children’s development. They can find out that others are different and similar in many ways; that we need to co-operate and negotiate so that we are all content; that sharing and taking turns and following rules is a positive thing to do. Other people can enrich our children’s lives by showing and telling them things that they might not have already experienced.
Different materials for art and craft
Children need to be exposed to a large variety of age appropriate and safe materials in different combinations so that they can play and experiment and make their own creations. This will develop our children’s intellectual, physical, emotional, social and language skills. We don’t need to spend a fortune. Re-cycled products such as cardboard cylinders, boxes, fabric etc, are great. Garden materials such as leaves, flowers, seeds, seed pods, bark and grasses are terrific. Children naturally love to build, tear, squash, mix, break, cut, decorate, draw, paint, etc.
Rotate toys
It’s wise to limit the amount of materials and toys that children are presented with and to gradually increase the number of materials they have access to at one time, as they grow. An older child needs to know the whereabouts, and be able to use different products safely. He or she needs to be expected to put back the items after use, so that others can find these things at a later date. It is smart to keep dangerous things out of reach of younger children and to teach older children to either keep dangerous items away from siblings, or for them to supervise their brothers and sisters closely. Young children have very short attention spans and will need frequent changes of toys and materials. If we can store these things in an organised manner with labels and appropriate stackable containers, our lives will be made much easier.
Fostering inquiring minds
If your child wants to know the answer to something, it’s a good idea to encourage her or him to think about the answer her or himself. We can ask further questions to foster thinking. Our child can be encouraged to find an answer in a book, on the internet, or by asking someone who is likely to have the answer. If the child is really young, you can do the research together.
Helping others
We can empower our children and teach them compassion by asking them to think of ways to help others that are less fortunate eg giving clothes and toys, that are no longer being used, to charities, fundraising, etc.
Imagination and Creativity
Construction activities such as lego and blocks, allow our children to build something of their choice and, as they grow, to visualise an idea before they create. These types of activities are great for more than one child or adult, and allow for co-operation, collaboration and sharing of ideas.
Helping children discover their unique interests and talents
I am a strong believer in exposing children to lots of different experiences, and finding out what they are good at, and interested in, fairly early in their lives. In this way children can keep developing their passions and will gain a lot of satisfaction and stimulation. If they can discover their interests and talents early, they will be motivated to learn and do many enriching related activities. We need to allow our children to follow their own interests, not what we wish for them to do.
Posted by Carole Disseldorp on
tags: stimulation, initiative, boredom, thinking, problem solving, creativity, imagination
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